From the start, I see this posting on Michael’s website as a plea for help. It says to me “Please will someone pull my head out of my arse?” I will indeed do that for you Mikey but understand that, after I pull your head out, I’m planning on ripping it off and putting it back where I found it!

Here’s Michael’s rant:

Now Mikey,

You really should start doing things your good at instead of bumbling your way through lawsuit after lawsuit. There are many people on the internet that will say that Michael Crook sucks. That was confirmed on your video announcing you’d come out of the closet. Maybe that’s what your good at but journalism and blogging isn’t what your good at.

1. No, soldiers dying in combat isn’t actually natural selection. No natural selection is when you, Michael Crook, choke on a bone and die. I can see the headlines now. ..”Michael Crook Chokes On A Bone.” *Smiles anticipating celebration*

2. Number 2 was spoken like a true coward. Maybe you should heed your own advice because sooner or later, I expect to see someone beat you to death. Hopefully they will take lots of pictures. No, it won’t be anyone that I know and it definitely won’t be me beating you. I’d only beat you senseless but wouldn’t kill you. My only problem is that somebody has beaten me to it because your ramblings seem like those of a truly mentally ill person. Try looking under the toilet, maybe you’ll find a pill that dropped back there.

3. Honestly Mikey, how does someone so unintelligent make it to your age? First off, you cannot see an IED dumb-ass. It’s buried under the ground and they are usually pretty good at covering the area up after it’s been buried. Secondly, Mikey, your just not that damn good! You flunked out of basic training. It really doesn’t make you sound intelligent saying military personnel are stupid when in fact you couldn’t make it through basic training. That actually puts you at 5 steps under stupid. People are really laughing AT you not WITH you.

4. Really Mikey? Ya think your not safer now than you was back in 9/11/01? Technically that fits in with your low IQ. Have we had another Al Quaeda attack in the US since 9/11? No. Why because we’ve got their fighters split into groups and those groups are spread too thin. We’re making them sneak around areas they used to walk around thinking they were kings. Every intelligent person (your not included in this) knows you need a functioning military to protect your country. I could really tie this in with people telling you that you need to go back to school cause this is stuff that 5th graders learn. We’d hate to see you compete on that show that requires you to say “I’m not as smart as a 5th grader.” You really do need to get your GED soon!

Mikey, you incompetent little toad, the world will never see things your way because quite frankly most of the people in it aren’t as technically ignorant as you are. Even Mavis (Your Mother) slaps her head and says she should have had a V-8 instead of sex the night you were conceived. I’m sure she apologizes every time someone brings up your name.

The fact that you call soldiers that die “Suckers,” I believe you should just go kill yourself. Blow your brains out, lock yourself in your car and have a tube from the muffler sealed and coming into the window of your car, do whatever it is you’d like to do. Oh wait, what in the hell was I thinking, that would require effort!